Night-time Ramblings of an Arabic PhD Student

إنتاجيّة

root: ن-ت-ج / noun / definition: productivity

Ten thousand words. Of notes.

I think it was easier to understand that one A-Level Physics class I had when my teacher was explaining how light moves, yes, in straight lines but, oh no, it actually takes every possible route to reach anything (I still don’t get it) than it is to understand how I’ve so far written ten thousand words of notes from reading only a handful of sources for my PhD literature review.

And that’s just the reading to address bullet point #1 of section 1 of 10. Which is technically just a historical overview before I get into the juicy stuff. But history is long, I guess.

Am I actually meant to extract something resembling a readable draft out of this chaotic notes-and-ramblings word document to submit by the start of May?

I seek out refuge from such questions in Ghayath al-Madhoun’s poetry, which I go and listen to when I need to crawl away from academic reading. I’ve also been watching Japanese food videos for no good reason, except that they inspired me to cut up breaded salmon nuggets into my stir fries which really is a revelation and decidedly my new favourite recipe.

What I mean to say is that I’m really getting into the flow of the PhD. (Finally.)

I’ve got a clear head now that I’m on break from teaching until late January, and I’ve booked a solo holiday in the somewhat-distant-but-near-enough-to-motivate-me future. I’m not sure the “clear head” part is coming across in these sentences I’m blurting out onto my keyboard but I’ve realised that there’s always some sense in sentences that go on for far too long and take several detours before reaching the full stop.

That’s what academic reading teaches you.

But it seems my habit of only being productive at night has made its non-awaited comeback to render me incapable of even blinking in the direction of my reading list before the majestic Sun sets into the evermore imbued-with-meaning horizon. (I’ll attribute the “majestic Sun” to watching The Mongol Khan in theatre back in November and being enamoured with the poetic language of nature. It was a great show.)

At least when I do feel productive, I now and then stumble across a sentence in a book or article that pokes my brain awake and words suddenly spill out into paragraphs plagued with fuzzy red lines because they’re being typed too fast with slow hands to be subject to correct spelling.

I read a poem by Atilla İlhan a few days ago about being the third person, and I realised I feel like a third person in the field of my research. That’s got absolutely nothing to do with the poem though which is essentially about third-wheeling, and I guess I won’t feel like a third person in the field when I actually get further into my research and get more of my own thoughts down.

My little glossary of interesting words I’ve come across since starting my reading is developing nicely. If you see me using words like “acquiescence” and “lugubrious” in future blog posts, you know why. There’s no reason to foster a dearth of sophisticated vocabulary, is there?

The reading I’ve done so far, by the way, has been fuelled by the cups of throw-it-all-in green tea that I’ve been downing. I chuck some cloves, cinnamon sticks, and a tiny rose (and occasionally a sprinkling of aniseed if I can reach far down enough inside the spice pot by the kettle… it’s a rare addition) in a mug and steep the green tea bag for just a minute to keep the flavour delicate.

With the salmon nugget stir fry and the throw-it-all-in tea, I’m just about ready to create a recipe blog.

You know, I planned on sleeping before midnight today but seeing as it’s precisely 23:59pm as I type this sentence of this unplanned post… alas. It’s the curse of night-time productivity, what can I say.

I think I understand that thing about light taking every possible route before it reaches its destination now.

.إلى اللقاء